[OK, this is a joke. I've been thinking about running an ANTI-library funding campaign.]
Sports dad: "I thought the Internet was ok. It's kind of like TV, ya know? But I come home one day, and what do I find my son is up to? Reading! Books, hidden under his pillow! And after last summer, he went back to school and started off with good grades. I just ... don't know where we went wrong..."
Senior citizen wife: “I thought when my husband retired he would sit on the porch in a rocking chair. Like in those commercials, drinking lemonade, and sharing little jokes with me. But NOOOO. He's down at the library every day, attending meetings, lectures, programs, coming home with all of these projects and ideas. He's reading up on history and politics. He knows more people than ever. When do I get my husband back?”
Grumpy old Republican: “yes, yes, some thing else for the kids. Bah! When I was a youngster, I was in a gang, like any red-blooded American. Now, these pansie-ass youngsters are in teen reading clubs!”
Business person: "For years now, I've been saying that the public sector needs to be run like a business. Well, over the past five years, our local library district has increased its use six to nine times greater than the rest of the nation. It did that while holding staffing levels virtually flat. They're not just running it like a business, they're running it like a successful business! [Shakes head.] What next? We're supposed to run our businesses like successful government?"
Concerned mother: “For years now, the library has seen a growth in use that I can only call obscene! 23% increase in checkouts one year, 21% the other. Last year it was only 18%. Finally! Yes, it's still way more business, but least it's slowing down. All I can say is thank God the parking lots and buildings are so crowded, especially in Parker and Lone Tree. Maybe that will scare some of my family away. I mean, there's more to life than learning!”
Tag line: "If you say yes to libraries, this can only continue."
Sports dad: "I thought the Internet was ok. It's kind of like TV, ya know? But I come home one day, and what do I find my son is up to? Reading! Books, hidden under his pillow! And after last summer, he went back to school and started off with good grades. I just ... don't know where we went wrong..."
Senior citizen wife: “I thought when my husband retired he would sit on the porch in a rocking chair. Like in those commercials, drinking lemonade, and sharing little jokes with me. But NOOOO. He's down at the library every day, attending meetings, lectures, programs, coming home with all of these projects and ideas. He's reading up on history and politics. He knows more people than ever. When do I get my husband back?”
Grumpy old Republican: “yes, yes, some thing else for the kids. Bah! When I was a youngster, I was in a gang, like any red-blooded American. Now, these pansie-ass youngsters are in teen reading clubs!”
Business person: "For years now, I've been saying that the public sector needs to be run like a business. Well, over the past five years, our local library district has increased its use six to nine times greater than the rest of the nation. It did that while holding staffing levels virtually flat. They're not just running it like a business, they're running it like a successful business! [Shakes head.] What next? We're supposed to run our businesses like successful government?"
Concerned mother: “For years now, the library has seen a growth in use that I can only call obscene! 23% increase in checkouts one year, 21% the other. Last year it was only 18%. Finally! Yes, it's still way more business, but least it's slowing down. All I can say is thank God the parking lots and buildings are so crowded, especially in Parker and Lone Tree. Maybe that will scare some of my family away. I mean, there's more to life than learning!”
Tag line: "If you say yes to libraries, this can only continue."
Comments
Your script makes use of some of the ideas in the book Made to Stick. Whether you've read the book or not, it's great to see the basic concepts make it's way to the library world.