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farewell Freddie

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Last night, and today, was tough. Freddie (13 year old border collie/Bernese mountain mix) was in a lot of pain. As I did so many years ago when he had surgery to remove a cancerous mass, I slept downstairs on the couch so he wouldn't have to negotiate stairs. This time, he couldn't even stand up without help. So I was up maybe 8 or 9 times in the night. Most of the time, most of the night, inside or outside, he whined. I've never heard that from him. Pain.

Today, I took him to the vet to put him down. Just the two of us (and the very compassionate vet). The end took just 15 seconds (saline solution, anesthetic, stop-the-heart, flush), $300. He sighed - in relief, I think. But I was with him, telling him to the end that he was a good boy.

My wife volunteered to come with me (a very kind gesture), but she had to work. I couldn't have that hanging over me all day, so I took him in after my son got up and said goodbye to him. I wrote this poem:


The pain
of the baby being born
is not the pain
of the mother

The pain
of the mother dying
is not the pain
of the child


The point being, I suppose, that although we may and do witness another's pain, ultimately, that pain isn't ours. But Freddie was a good and sentient being, and I feel his loss keenly.

Comments

Unknown said…
Jamie
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dear friend Freddie. Our pets short lives certainly have a profound impact on ours. It sounds like you were a dear friend to him too, you were both lucky to have had each other.
With sadness,
Laura Burnett
December 11, 2011 at 9:44 PM
Alex (The Sleepless Reader) said…
So sorry to hear about it :( The poem is a beautiful way to celebrate his life.

All the best to you and your family.
December 12, 2011 at 3:24 AM
Jamie said…
Thank you both for your kindness.
December 12, 2011 at 8:43 PM
Brian the Librarian said…
Catching up on my RSS feed and read your sad post. We had to put down our cat, Peppy, recently. I empathize. It's a horrible decision to have to make, but better than letting your companion linger and suffer.
December 23, 2011 at 9:38 AM
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